Paging Mr. Gore…

Ecological Spoiler Alert: If you think a cold snap in Miami Beach proves conclusively that there’s no such thing as Global Warming you might want to slap on some sunscreen and slither past this week’s offering.


According to the statistical wonks the average worldwide temperature has risen a full degree and a half Fahrenheit since 1884.  For you metric folks that’s .83 degrees Celsius.  Big deal.  When I was growing up in Montana back in the fifties the temperature could go from -18F to +20F in 45 minutes.  Booga booga.  Oops.  There’s a slight problem with this deft analogy.  Temperature change over a brief period of time is called weather.  Temperature change over several decades is called climate.


Still ain’t no big deal.  Except when you realize that for each degree Celsius in temperature rise crop yield decreases by 10%.  Rice pollination goes from 100% at 34C (90F) to 0% at 40C (104F).  And the rate of temperature rise seems to be accelerating.  The 21st century has 9 of the 10 hottest annual average temperatures on record.  2012 broke all the records.  Yikes.


How about the argument that it isn’t our fault?  We can’t be responsible for cow farts!  Or that it’ll cost too much to fix?  Or that we’ve already gone past the tipping point so why worry, just be happy?  Here are a couple of salient talking points.  Greed is primarily responsible for the mess we’re in.  Even though Greed is what Capitalism is all about, when you come to think about it not many of us have profited handsomely from the global damage caused by a handful of greedy bastards who lavish praise upon their balding heads by media-blasting PR releases that patiently explain how they’ve gifted the world with jobs, fed the poor and housed the unwashed.


And don’t even suggest that some God is gonna pop down when everything looks so dark, click his heels, snap his infallible fingers and make everything okay.  Nor need you shed a tear for the poor planet.  The Earth is gonna be just fine. It’s your brothers and sisters in the human race that’ll be toast. Literally.  A new species will rise from the ashes of our self-imposed immaculate immolation, one more suited to the newly crafted state of the planet.  But humanity will have shown itself to be unique in at least one regard.  The vast majority of lesser species refuse to foul their own nests.  We have done so with relish!

One Reply to “Paging Mr. Gore…”

  1. I am reading your blog. You are as funny online as you are in person. Oh by the way: I prefer sauerkraut over relish!!! Seriously, Russell, good blog so far. Remember that one’s definition of insanity comes from a subjective assessment. Julia and I are so glad we met you, and look forward to many more conversations based on facts and data, not just some moron throwing his money around (can you say combover?), or yelling down an opposing point (rhymes with “Bimbaugh”), versus debating in a civilized manner. By the way, don’t forget it’;s “ROBERT’S RULES OF ORDER!” If you are going to take a stand or make a point, do so with DATA and FACTS! How many true cases of voter fraud in NC? Less than two hands worth of fingers. My parting shot re the SCV and other supporters upset about the Confederate battle fflag being removed from public and government areas: You say you want to honor the heritage of the flag, but as Paula Poundstone said so well on “Wait Wait, Don’ Tell Me” two weeks ago, “I don’t see a lot of people talking about honoring the heritage of the Union Jack.” Nice panorama Vegas photo. Enough, it’s time for bed. Remember, “And, in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make.”

Leave a Reply