Several months ago, I was bemoaning the dearth of readers who enjoy my much beloved (by me) short stories. My audience of one was a delightful young lady who was accustomed to listening to tales of woe.
“Why not try OnlyFans?” she asked sweetly.
Now I am by no means a prude nor am I so www.unsophisticated that I didn’t immediately recognize the URL. For readers unfamiliar with the website, OnlyFans was launched in November 2016 as a platform for performers to provide clips and photos to followers for a monthly subscription fee. For Performers (wink, wink!), read porn stars. Or at least that’s what I’d heard.
“I don’t look good in a thong,” I riposted. I am a riposter of the first water.
“Nay, nay,” replied the lady in question. “It’s for creators of all stripes. Tour guides, chefs, fitness trainers, even authors and poets. You could recruit a bevy of comely young lasses to produce videos of themselves reading your short stories and charge subscribers a fixed price per view. They wouldn’t even have to be naked. Use your imagination for God’s sake!”
Imagination is the sole quality I possess in abundance. Just ask my long-suffering wife. Thus was Naughty Nikki born. We are preparing to launch Naughty Nikki soon. The scripts have been written. The comely young lasses are being recruited. I am the managing director. I searched in vain for a casting couch, but Amazon had none in stock. Read on for an introduction to our intended enterprise. Naughty Nikki isn’t guaranteed to bring in endless wealth and notoriety but it’s been lots of fun so far and it keeps me off the streets. At least that’s what I keep telling my wife. Enjoy!