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Open Note to my Children

After a great deal of soul searching I’ve come to the conclusion that one of the reasons I love football is that most of the players, although they outweigh me by hundreds of pounds and earn more in a year than my father ever earned in his entire life; despite these obvious advantages they don’t […]

A Modest Legacy

It’s New Year’s Day And here I sit, quite curiously content. In terms of a life spent wowing astounded literary critics I haven’t made a dent And yet I have my small, devoted band of peers Who, when listening to my prose, at least appear all ears. And so, sitting placidly in place, I must […]

Open Note to my Children

I’ve noticed a troubling trend lately. Dead guys are getting younger. Weather patterns are becoming increasingly extreme. Young folks and spouses are marginally more obstreperous. And gas prices continue to rise. History is more hysterical; peace is getting harder to piece together. And people in general are more difficult to deal with. What ever happened […]

Open Note to my Children

Things I’ve learned about writing 1. Eschew obfuscation 2. Obliterate ego 3. Consume hearty slices of humble pie daily 4. Let your characters be your guide 5. When you’re done with a chapter turn off the typewriter and enjoy the silence 6. If one of your readers says it don’t make sense, it follows as […]

Open Note to my Children

Matt Damon has a neat commercial out sponsored by cryptocurrencies. It concludes with the phrase “Fortune favors the brave.” I looked it up. This phrase is frequently followed by “I’m all in,” or “Damn the torpedoes full speed ahead.” Unfortunately, those two phrases are followed all too often by “What was that twanging noise, General […]

Open Note to my Children

You can say what you want about Le Mans and the breathtaking speed of the racecars on mountainous terrain but the truth is nothing goes downhill faster than an aging hooker. I’ve interviewed several ladies of the afternoon for my books and have remained friends with a few, much to the chagrin of the little […]

Open Note to my Children

My opposable thumbs are against me Almost everything’s out of my grasp My rich Irish tenor no longer sounds lovely It’s more of a rich Irish rasp I checked out my face in the mirror this morning And found to my dismal dismay My nostrils are bleeding my hair is receding My nerves are beginning […]

Open Note to my Children

This didn’t happen to me but a friend told me that if you’ve stopped by your favorite watering hole and have made eye contact with a young lass on the next stool, and she responds with a smile, and you ask how she’s doing, should she answer with the phrase “I just got out of […]

Open Note to my Children

The little woman and I have stopped arguing. Now we text links back and forth that reference apt, witty rejoinders on the web. It saves a lot of time and it gets much less personal. On another note I recently unfriended a longtime acquaintance who insisted on spoiling my morning every day with ridiculous racist […]