1. When you cold-call me on the phone I don’t blame you for mispronouncing my name the first time. Russ is a struggle for anyone. But if you misspell my last name on a piece of proposed marketing literature for the third time, you’ll pardon me for being skeptical

2. If you can’t properly pronounce the titles from four out of seventeen of my works that you seek to represent it might be time to invest in a Webster’s Dictionary

3. If your business plan is based on helping me spend my money rather than trying to increase my book sales, I think I’ll pass but thank you for scouring the Amazon archives for the names of struggling self-published authors. It’s unfortunately true that the term “Marketing” begins with the word “Mark!”